7 Quick Takes

Linkedy-dinka-dinking with Jen and look out! ’cause I’m on time today.  Ta-da!

  1. This week I decided to be both trendy and healthy and try my hand at making some salt and vinegar kale chips.  I love me some salt and vinegar chips and I love me some kale so I figured – what could go wrong?  And aside from the fact that my kitchen smelled like butt, half of them burnt, the other half was chewy, and I used too much salt, it went great.  I even took a photo:

    Before

    Before

    If you really want an after picture I can go outside and take a picture of the inside of my trashcan.  I plan to make these again in the near never.

  2. Speaking of food malfunctions, please tell me I’m not the only one in the world who thaws meat on the counter?  Let me rephrase…tell me my mom and I are not the only ones in the world who thaw meat on the counter?  Also…sometimes I accidentally let it get room temperature and still cook it.  Also…sometimes I thaw meat, cook half, then refreeze the rest.  YES, I have read alllll the FDA warnings about this but never once in my life have I ever gotten food poisoning.  My style is more, “Meh.  It’ll be fine.”  My husband’s style, however, is more like, “How long has that been on the counter?” – five minutes later – “Is that thawed yet?” – ten minutes later – “Do you want me to put that in the fridge?” – five minutes later – “Did you check that meat?” – five minutes later – “I went ahead and put that meat in the fridge for you.”  This from the man who once ate cooked chicken he had accidentally left in his car.  Overnight.  In July. 
  3. While we’re on the subject of food, here’s a fun fact about Allie:  I like foods in combination that I dislike separately.  Example:  I hate milk chocolate, hate marshmallows, hate graham crackers.  LOVE s’mores.  Like, I once ate 10 in a row THAT’SHOWMUCHILOVETHEM.  Another example:  I really don’t care much for peanut butter or bananas.  Really love peanut-butter-banana sandwiches.  I also don’t like pretzels.  My husband rolls his eyes at me on a regular basis when he goes to eat some chex mix and all that is left in the bag is pretzels because I have eaten around them all (Malachi does it, too).  But I love milk chocolate-dipped pretzels, and I get really excited when they also have sprinkles.  Also, I don’t really like sprinkles that much.  I have like five more examples but I think you’re probably bored so I’ll stop. 
  4. This video completely cracks me up.  Not because I love to listen to my son whine, but because somehow I managed to focus only on his jazz hand that always goes crazy like that when he is begging for something (in this case, my iPod.  And FYI: I thought he wanted me to sing him the birthday song again, but clearly that’s not what he was asking for).
     
  5. Here’s an out-of-context sentence to make your week:  “Jeremy, if the dog doesn’t want to lick his groin she doesn’t have to.”  Oh you want the context?  Ok.  Malachi spilled tons of food on himself and Jeremy didn’t want to wipe him off, so he tried to show the dog how to lick food off my son’s pants.  Yes, he did.  Thankfully, no she didn’t.  Lest you think Jeremy is the only gross one in the house, though, I call the dog when Naomi spits up on the floor because that is easier and quicker than cleaning it with a rag from the kitchen.  And TMI, Allie, move on….
    .
  6. I’m wondering if maybe I need to lower my standards of productivity so that I could actually meet them and make myself feel better.  I make a list on the white board of the things I want to get accomplished in a day.  Usually I don’t even think about being productive until nap time, and then sometimes that’s also when I think about taking a break and I just don’t know how to squeeze it all in there.  Earlier this week I found myself caught up in such a slurry of productivity, distraction, and mental Olympics that I went jogging into the kitchen to see what I could cross off my list and….

    Nothing.

    I had done nothing of actual significance.  I guess cleaning out the linen closet, signing up for online surveys, and googling “health-condition-I’m-not-gonna-put-on-the-internet” weren’t really as pressing as I thought.  Shoot.

  7. Wow, you made it through all that.  Congratulations.  Here’s another out-of-context statement that I thought was hilarious and Jeremy thought was mildly amusing (pretty much summarizes our relationship right there):  “Yep, still got it.”  Was I ___
    A.  patting myself on the back after being noticed by an attractive young man?
    B.  patting myself on the back after completing 10 sit-ups with ease?
    C.  patting myself on the back after successfully pumping 7 ounces in one sitting even though it was my first time pumping this time around and last time by this age I had donated 224 ounces of milk and I wasn’t sure if I could even produce that much anymore?

You decide.

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2 thoughts on “7 Quick Takes

  1. Pingback: Confessions | authenticisms

  2. Pingback: Step in to the Confessional | authenticisms

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