Step in to the Confessional

I’m pretty sure if I got Jeremy’s input he could suggest considerably more items to add to this list but in the meantime, enjoy.

  1. Last night I ate salmon cakes and slaw for dinner. Jeremy and I went on a date later and ended up at Waffle House.  I then ate a waffle, an order of hash browns, and two slices of bacon. No, I’m not pregnant.
  2. Sometimes when the kids are eating lunch and strapped into their chairs I go pee just so I can get a (literal) minute alone.
  3. Usually I take my iPod because 30 seconds of sitting alone necessitates some kind of social media.
  4. I’m not embarrassed that I just admitted any of that to you. #noshame
  5. Malachi has been on stellar behavior today and by “stellar” I mean “absolutely horrible.”  In the past four hours I’ve sent these texts to Jeremy.****
    • I might lock our son in the dog crate.
    • Maybe I’ll just leave him at pre-school.
    • I swear I am going to drop him off at the pound.

    .        ****OF COURSE I was kidding! Unbunch those britches. 

  6. As I was typing that Malachi climbed on top of me to cuddle and now I feel guilty.
  7. I throw away old leftovers when Jeremy isn’t home (because) and then I cover them up with something big in the trash can so he won’t see it there later and ask me about it.
  8. Malachi has grape juice all up in his hair and Naomi’s hair is spiked up on the side with banana mush and I’m still 99% sure they won’t be getting a bath until tomorrow, so I just wiped their heads off with a washcloth and called it good enough (it wasn’t).
  9. Yesterday I was so tired that I decided to sit down and read my magazine “just for 20 minutes” but then I was too tired to get up but had too much to do to take a nap without feeling guilty so I just kept laying there….for an hour and a half.
  10. Yesterday I played fetch with Naomi just so she’d stop throwing things in my lap for a couple minutes.
  11. I usually mop my floors on Wednesday so they will be clean for small group but it’s been snowing every Tuesday here (seriously) for a couple months and I don’t mop when it’s wet outside because it’s pointless so it’s been a really, really long time since I mopped.
  12. I still let the kids eat off the floor.
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