I’m pretty sure if I got Jeremy’s input he could suggest considerably more items to add to this list but in the meantime, enjoy.
- Last night I ate salmon cakes and slaw for dinner. Jeremy and I went on a date later and ended up at Waffle House. I then ate a waffle, an order of hash browns, and two slices of bacon. No, I’m not pregnant.
- Sometimes when the kids are eating lunch and strapped into their chairs I go pee just so I can get a (literal) minute alone.
- Usually I take my iPod because 30 seconds of sitting alone necessitates some kind of social media.
- I’m not embarrassed that I just admitted any of that to you. #noshame
- Malachi has been on stellar behavior today and by “stellar” I mean “absolutely horrible.” In the past four hours I’ve sent these texts to Jeremy.****
- I might lock our son in the dog crate.
- Maybe I’ll just leave him at pre-school.
- I swear I am going to drop him off at the pound.
. ****OF COURSE I was kidding! Unbunch those britches.
- As I was typing that Malachi climbed on top of me to cuddle and now I feel guilty.
- I throw away old leftovers when Jeremy isn’t home (because) and then I cover them up with something big in the trash can so he won’t see it there later and ask me about it.
- Malachi has grape juice all up in his hair and Naomi’s hair is spiked up on the side with banana mush and I’m still 99% sure they won’t be getting a bath until tomorrow, so I just wiped their heads off with a washcloth and called it good enough (it wasn’t).
- Yesterday I was so tired that I decided to sit down and read my magazine “just for 20 minutes” but then I was too tired to get up but had too much to do to take a nap without feeling guilty so I just kept laying there….for an hour and a half.
- Yesterday I played fetch with Naomi just so she’d stop throwing things in my lap for a couple minutes.
- I usually mop my floors on Wednesday so they will be clean for small group but it’s been snowing every Tuesday here (seriously) for a couple months and I don’t mop when it’s wet outside because it’s pointless so it’s been a really, really long time since I mopped.
- I still let the kids eat off the floor.